Of ‘manhood seizing’, and parenting. My take on the Tiwa Savage saga.




Tiwa Savage… accused of seizing her husband’s manhood

As parents, as we lay our bed, we are lying on it. This is a wakeup call for all parents of boys. It is time we sat up and review the way we bring them up because what goes round ultimately comes round. There is this caption circulating on the internet.. ‘That boy you are raising is not only your son, he is going to grow up to be someone’s husband and also someone’s father, bring him up well’ or something to that effect . I have seen parents buy two sets of a particular item, one for the boy, and one for all the other members of the household. When drawing up the household chores, they will not include the boys, parents like them are always jumping up in defense of the boy child that the boy hardly ever gets to use his voice, he is not allowed to do his home work, that’s the work of the lesson teachers, so he is indirectly not allowed to task his brain. His daily routine is like ; wake up in the morning, be fed breakfast, get on his bike or whatever it is that catches his fancy at that time, goes out, comes back for lunch , gets fed, goes out again, comes back in the evening, gets fed, bathed and goes to bed. And repeat the following day and the following. Such parents are taking away their son’s manhood in case they don’t know.

This manhood we are talking about, apologies to Tunji Balogun (Tiwa Savage’s husband) would have been taken long before the wife comes along but the unfortunate thing is that it is the wife that will suffer for it,her husband and her mother-in law will  accuse her of seizing his manhood, she would be accused of using the boy’s star, a star that has been rendered too dull to shine from lack of use and awakening at the right time.

Fathers , you have a lot of role to play in ensuring that your son grows up to be a responsible, hardworking, conscientious and God-fearing man, it is not enough to pay school fees, to buy expensive stuff, etc. You need to lead by example, your son is watching the way you treat his mum and all the female members of your family, don’t send that message that it is alright to shirk your responsibilities, or that it’s alright to cheat and flaunt your philandering, that it is alright to be manipulative of those around you.

As for you mothers, we know it is not easy but please  try not to treat your son like the king that can do no wrong, bring him up to be responsible, whatever household chores and skills the girls learn , let him learn as well, you never can tell when it will come in handy, no knowledge is lost, that’s what we know. Don’t let him grow up with that sense of entitlement that people should take care of all his whims and caprices without him having to lift a finger.Remember you will not always be there, he will not live with you for ever, he is going to be somebody’s husband and father one day.

To the boy child, young man, if you want your , manhood you have to work for it, you can start by making effort to provide for your family or better still postpone getting married until you are financially ready , get an education, get more education, get a vocation, set up a business, manage your wife’s business if that’s what you have, make a good job of it, don’t be reckless with your finances, protect your family and by this I mean your wife and children first even before your extended family. Show them love and care.. Be discrete, do not flaunt your indiscretions in your wife’s face. If you can do this, it will be like seeking first the kingdom of heaven and every other thing being added to it.