Constituted Authority.



Naijamum: Isiaka!

Isiaka: Nam!

Naijamum: How many times have I called you?

Isiaka: Only one time ma.

Naijamum: Okay, lets start again, Isiaka, Isiaka, Isiakaaaa!

Isiaka: Naaaammm.

Naijamum: Now how many times have I called you?

Isiaka: Three times ma.

Who gave you the permission to do a change of name? Ehn? Who gave you the permission? What kind of children are these gan sef? You sha want to always put me in trouble with Baba God. You now call yourself Constituted Authority. And the assignment that you were given gangan you have deliberately refused to do it.

Isiaka: What assignment ma?

Naijamum: Did n’t you yourself say you have not paid this, you have not paid that? And you acknowledged that your siblings, other Naija children have been locked out of their school for over 8 months? You also observed that the condition of some of them was appalling to the extent that you found it hard to believe that they were indeed students?

Isiaka: Yes maaami.

Naijamum: And on top of that you now say they should prostrate and say “please Oga, they have shut down our school, please come and help us open it”? The thunder that will fire you ehn? Anyway, it is just that a mother should not swear for her children otherwise.. I know what to say. Did n’t you say one of your reasons was lack of funds? Well my own two pence, if you do not have funds to perform in a given role instead of putting me  your mother and even yourself to shame, why don’t you kala resign? I have been appealing to Baba God to please help us to find a way that public offices like the one you are occupying will be made voluntary in Nigeria, so it will be only those who are really ready to serve that will vie for such offices. We kuku know there are other means to make money but the salaries and other fringe benefits alone that we will save will cover a sizeable amount of ground.

Look at you. You have made me a trending object of ridicule since last week because of your puffed up arrogance and you have also made me to land in Baba God’s black book. I will have to go and beg Baba God now. It is because of attitude such as this that makes Baba God lambaste me and question my parenting skills. Mshew!


Son disembowels father.

Yes I know, before you point it out to me, I know I sound like a broken record but this burden I carry about parenting rightly will not let me be. Parenting, it is so easy to get it wrong, the effect of a few minutes lack of attention could be disastrous. Even to myself, I sound like a harbinger of doom, of bad news but some of us just have to be the ones to do this self-appointed job, are n’t we?

Baba Junior and Mama Junior are (or should I say were? Because the mother also is in coma in the hospital as a result of the stab injuries sustained in the hands of Junior)our family friends, we had children together, our children are growing up together, we live in the same neighbourhood. I have refrained from writing this post earlier because it’s a bit closer to home but the mother hen in me keeps nudging me to do so because who knows? it might save some other people’s lives in the future.

It is not a common occurrence for a son to disembowel the father so if such a thing happens, we should all pay attention and see if we can learn a lesson or two from the occurrence. I will not be boring you with advice, instead I will just present the facts as they are and leave you to draw your own  conclusions. And I am also going to post some images, who knows, they just may wake up some parents from their slumber.


Our friend, may his soul find rest.



The son, Junior, he is on the run.


This last image is not for the faint hearted but you just might realize the seriousness of the situation by viewing it.

The disembowelled body of our friend laying  in a pool of his own blood




The cucumber sex video


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No matter how hard we try, we cannot pretend not to have heard about the cucumber sex video that has been trending on the Nigerian internet scene for about a week now. The first thoughts that came to my mind were how the victim must be feeling, what she must be going through right now, the second thoughts were about the parents, what thoughts must be going through their minds, how they must be coping especially in a society like Nigeria where everybody seems to know everybody else and where there is no hiding place.

My third thoughts was and still is about our own children, especially the girl child, our God-given role as parents to them. Have you had the ‘talk’ yet? Do you constantly have the ‘talk’? Do you seize every opportunity to have the ‘talk’? The ‘talk’ can be about everything and it can be about nothing in particular, it can also sometimes be about one single topic.  No parent is perfect, no parent is a ‘know-it-all’ and there is no single route to good parenting but there are some basic routes to good parenting. If you have not had the ‘talk’ yet, go on then, give it a go, the more you try it, the better and less awkward it becomes. You can start by addressing the safety of children on the internet that is assuming you have already talked about sex and also you have been doing your best to protect them from predators. These few steps might help;

  1. Do away with all forms of shyness where your children are concerned, call all spades spades, not farming equipment
  2.  To avoid any damage,do not leave things too late before you start,  whether you know it or not, they know more than you think they know,  or even more than you know in most cases.
  3. Let your children know that under no circumstances must they send nude images/videos of themselves to any one, not even themselves or you, their parents. I let mine know that they should not even exchange any notes or emails and neither must they allow themselves to be filmed in the nude (this might sound ridiculous because you would expect them to know that already, right? but it’s better to be safe than sorry, so tell them all the same) because once its out of their hands, it’s no more theirs and so not under their control anymore.
  4. Lay out all the likely consequences that might follow if they should do that, give them real life examples, I gave mine (including my eleven year old)a summary of the cucumber sex video and we discussed it at length and I made sure they understood the gist of the matter.
  5. Be involved in the life of your children, do not leave things to chance
  6. Make it a duty to know the kind of company they keep, the kind of friends they have etc
  7. Befriend your children, too much harshness backfires.
  8. It’s okay to trust them but again, if somethings don’t feel right or you have reasons to doubt their stories or movement,  it’s okay to investigate, you are not betraying them, you are safeguarding their future.

Now this is bad news but I can bet you that victim in the said video is not the only person to have gone through such. We must continue to press on, we must refuse to be tired or wary, we must not give up.

Here is wishing us a rewarding, fruitful and happy parenting especially at these end times.

Image source